Steph's Story

I want to thank you for visiting my site. I applaud you for seeking answers and encourage you to never, ever give up. 

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Let’s get real – Life can be hard! When you add health issues into the mix, life can feel overwhelming, frustrating, isolating, and lonely. Whatever space you are in now, I want you to know I can feel your energy and I have great respect and compassion for your life journey.

I’m about to be 38 years old and I have seen some STUFF.  I have struggled most of my life with asthma, acne, allergies, and eczema, but my health really took a turn for the worse when I was around 25. My energy tanked, I developed terrible anxiety coupled with severe panic attacks lasting for months. I started putting on a lot of excess weight and I felt sickly all the time. I’d be exhausted during the day and completely wired at night. It took me months, but I was eventually diagnosed with hypothyroidism. “No big deal”, said my Doctor, “You just take a pill for the rest of your life and that’s it. Good as new!” If only it were that simple.

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I still had all my symptoms previously listed, but now I was starting to develop food allergies and other alarming symptoms – like my hair falling out in clumps. I sought out medical doctors, homeopathic doctors, and practitioners, as well as counselors and psychologists. Depending on who I was seeing that week determined what type of medication and supplement I was on. At one point I carried around a huge monthly sized pill box that contained 15-20 different pills PER DAY! Plus, I was literally tied to my albuterol inhaler, using it several times a day, not to mention weekly nebulizer treatments. Shocking is the only word that comes to mind when I write this knowing what I know now. I want you to pause and really take all this in. Remember, I was only 25 years old.

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I think back to that young girl, desperate for help. Pushed aside and really made to feel that what I was experiencing didn’t matter. That my pain and suffering didn’t matter. That I was somehow taking up someone else’s time and my questions and concerns weren’t valid.  It was extremely scary, very isolating, and unbelievably heartbreaking. 

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I continued down this path for another 12 years. Trying different diets, experiencing traumatizing and debilitating mental, emotional, and physical health consequences. I continued to seek out professionals and the only thing I acquired was massive amounts of debt. I could tell you stories that would make you repulsed by the treatment I received. At my very lowest, I had a male doctor tell me I had two options: check into a pain management facility and be on narcotics for the rest of my life or, he shrugged, possibly “woman problems.” I nearly laughed with exasperation. Little did he know that I had reached out to the Women’s Health Care facility where I doctored during my entire pregnancy and visited through two years of pediatric checkups  out of pure desperation and when I explained to the lady on the phone what I was experiencing she said “Honey, this is an office for women who are pregnant or have women related issues. You need to find someone else.” And when I explained I had tried everyone else, while crying, she said “I hope you find what you are looking for, but we can’t help you.” That was that. The recurring theme in my life – we can’t help you; you’re taking up valuable space and time, we’re too busy. 

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I may write in more detail someday in my blog or newsletter about the two times my body completely shut down on me and how I almost died, but this isn’t the space to go into that really long and difficult story. I’ll just say for now I couldn’t eat; I was in excruciating pain and I was reacting to everything. I even sat down to write last letters to my sons. I had been through so much and I most certainly didn’t want to die, but I was exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I eventually came to find peace with the realization that death was a veery real possibility. Unless you have stood in that moment, you will never fully understand how powerful and humbling it is . 

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